Schwepps have hit the money with their new print advertising, SO good, SO fresh. I was really impressed, strange to see a drinks company have such an agenda, it's nice to know that even corporate giants are suitably concerned with the state of things at the moment.
Secondly: an apology.
Sorry about my behaviour, though I hope you are aware of the similarites of your own actions. Do not expect me to sit there and not be angry when in my face is a wench with a face that could blow up manhole covers. I don't care what she is or who she is or what or who she's done or where she was picked up from. All I know is she was a bogey, and I was a birdie, and your performance was definitely sub-par. You were rinsed by your peers and you deserved it, I ignored you the whole time and you deserved it. I went home because I went home and no other reason was needed n'est ce-pas, so do not tell me to stay solely upon the realisation that I was getting increasingly angry at you (you saw the pulsating vein at the top of my temple didn't you? or maybe it was the drink I spilled on Ol' Manhole face). I hope you are happy with your psuedo-vegetarian conquest. To be fair this isn't much of an apology afterall, more an imposition. I've got a mere two weeks left. If you ruin these last days I'll never forgive you, you'll never hear the end of it and I'll probably have to hurt you. Anyhow, see you tomorrow innit.